


Chimera 626

by maraudersourwolf, TheodoreR



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Evil!Theo, Lilo & Stitch Au, Lilo!Liam, M/M, Stitch!Theo, The Dread Doctors are Disney Villains, Theo dyes his hair blue, they sing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 13:50:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15973622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maraudersourwolf/pseuds/maraudersourwolf, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheodoreR/pseuds/TheodoreR
Summary: Liam angrily bites his ice-cream, immediately squirming at his teeth freezing, and he starts looking around.A friend, a friend, a friend, let me see.It can’t be that difficult, he just needs one single friend, so Mason will finally get jealous and dump Corey.[Lilo&Stitch AU]





	Chimera 626

**Author's Note:**

> There was a time when Meds decided to reblog an incorrect quote post on tumblr.  
> And a wild Des saw it was from Lilo & Stitch.  
> And hell broke loose.
> 
> Barely to none beta'd.  
> Super mega messy.  
> I swear we are funny, we really are.  
> Enjoy!

 

 

His hair is gone.

Theo is tired and frustrated and maybe a little beyond annoyed, just to add a little bit more of bitter flavor to the mix, because two words just won't do.

But his hair is still gone.

He looks at himself in the mirror, just to find the remainings of the last torture he has to endure. Short, without any possibility of styling it somehow. There's no more blue covering the strends. And no more stickiness either. Or itchiness. Or dried cake of plastic material that made his hair look like one of the cheap versions of a Ken Doll. But the blue?

Completely gone.

And he cannot stand it.

Why is it so hard to have nice things in life? How is he even going to allure people to their perish when he looks like he got into a fight with a scissor. And not even a nice new and smooth one, but a full of rust, old and without social security.

An offkey voice in the background singing brings him back to the present where he’s still living underground with three psychopaths with a leather kink that do nothing but sing and he's seconds away from stabbing his ears with a screwdriver to end this all, either by murdering himself or murdering them all.

The detail is in the surprise.

He was built for planning, manipulating and nothing else but destroy. To be lead by hatred, to bring down to pieces cities and steal everyone in town left shoe.

To say bad words out loud and terrify old women.

To steal candy from kids.

To leave the lid of the toilet open each and every time.

He was made to torture others.

To be the worst of the worst and some more.

Not to listen to croaky voices and off tune intonations. Being tortured day after day isn't in his agenda, but the pain and suffering from others is.

And things need to change.

Opening a side escape in one of the sewers with the screwdriver sounds way better. For him. It actually sounds like a tragedy about to happen for the rest of the population if the only thing that keeps the sewers intact is just a couple of screws in random places that a teenage with a screwdriver and extra bitterness can screw over.

Again, the detail is in the surprise.

It doesn't take him long to crawl out that hellhole, steal some clothes that doesn't smell like mold, crushed dreams and terrible musical taste, and a cap.

Not because he likes caps, but that one is blue and his hair isn't exactly alluring material right now, so hiding it for some time will have to do. He can also put it backwards, and look like a douche to state his point.

All he needs now is to search for a dummy to take his place.

It has to be perfect, a young and with a crushable will to just keep enduring that torture of singing and cutting hair until eternity so he can be free and destroy cities with his bare hands.

A boy can dream.

 

 

**

 

It’s a lovely day in joyous little Beacon Island, the ice-cream tastes sweet on his tongue and the sun shines bright in the clear sky above them. All Liam needs now is for it to fall and kill everyone.

“I’m not saying you’re the worst friend I ever had, Mason, but-”

“I’m the only friend you ever had.”

“ _But”_   Liam takes a deep breath. He hates when people interrupt him and they do it all the time. Everyone in that fucking island has just so _many_ things to say apparently. “If I had other friends you sure as hell wouldn’t make it to the top ten.”

Mason sighs, licking the chocolate dripping from his cone. “Look man, I love you, but I think I’ll somehow survive knowing that getting a boyfriend has costed me my place in your top ten of imaginary friends.”

“No, no, don’t do that, okay? It’s not about _Corey_.” It _is_ about Corey, thee little shit sucks all of Mason’s free time, everything was perfect before he appeared out of nowhere and stole Liam’s only friend. “It’s about responsibilities. It’s about being a decent human being. How can you just leave me alone to go surf with your little sticky friend when-”

“Boyfriend is the word you’re looking for.”

“When you know I’m having an hard time at home.”

“Oh, not this again, please.”

“Oh, I’m sorry if my parents literally _dying_ inconveniences you, Mason, but-”

“They’re in France.”

“They’re _dead_ , why else would I’ve been living all by myself for the last two months, mh?”

“Because they decided to travel the world and they didn’t feel like bringing you with them to complain about everything.” Mason points out with his best know-it-all voice. He thinks he’s _so_ wise, when he wouldn’t even know how to burp on command if it wasn’t for Liam. “I get that you’re bitter about it, but you need to stop telling everyone they’re dead.”

“Nobody believes me anyway.” Liam mutters salty. “Just because they have more followers than me on Instagram.”

“That’s not hard, you have seven followers included me.” Mason shrugs, nodding at someone on the other side of the road. He knows _everyone_ in this island. “And even if I can’t prove it, I have my good reasons to think that two of those followers are fake accounts you created to like your own pictures.”

Damn. He wonders who gave him away, was it Lima Dubai or Ian Umbar?

“I hope a shark eat you.” He says honestly and Mason rolls his eyes.

“Look, mate, you need to find some new friends, okay?”

“Are you dumping me? My parents died and now my best friend-”

“I’m not dumping you, if I hear that you’re going around saying I died too I’ll kill you, Liam, I’m not kidding.” He says it like being killed was this scary thing Liam didn’t dream of everyday. Wasn’t the sun supposed to explode at some point in the near future? Liam is still waiting. “My grandma’s heart is weak, you know that, she can’t take a fright.”

“Or what, she’ll die?” Liam scoffs sceptical. “Don’t worry, she’ll just go to France then, since that’s where all dead people are apparently.”

It doesn’t look like Mason appreciates his comment, but before he can scold him for it his phone starts ringing and of course he immediately forgets everything else. Pathetic. “Yes, Corey, I’m coming, I’m sorry I’m late but Liam is being jealous again. No, he doesn’t want to come, don’t worry.”

“Yes I do.”

“He’s sure, yes. Five minutes and I’ll be there. Save me some waves. Love you.”

“ _Save me some waves_ ” Liam mocks him and then he tries to follow, but Mason places a hand on his chest, stopping him.

 _“You_ stay here.” He commands firm. “Try to make some friends.”

And with that he walks away, leaving Liam all alone in the middle of nothing, which is where they live.

“You know what?” He screams at his back, earning a glare from the old greengrocer’s wife. She thinks she owns all the road just because her shop is the most successful in the area. “I might just do that! And then you’ll see if you’re even in my top twenty!”

Liam angrily bites his ice-cream, immediately squirming at his teeth freezing, and he starts looking around. _A friend, a friend, a friend, let me see._ It can’t be that difficult, he just needs one single friend, so Mason will finally get jealous and dump Corey.

There’s not much choice, because there’s not so many people to begin with on the entire island, so Liam will have to lower his standards. There’s a family over there, but the kids are too young for Liam to be friend with them, he can’t stand children, always screaming and running around like they have places to be and people to meet when nobody actually wants them, annoying little shits. If humans were born teens already the world would be a better place. That’s a lie, teens are just as horrible, but that’s what Liam is, so he’ll just have to find another teen to replace Mason with. There’s one on a bench a few feet from him, texting on his phone and Liam immediately hates him. He’s sure as hell one of those people who accept to go out with you and then just stare into their phones the whole time talking to other people leaving you wondering why they didn’t go out with them in the first place. Liam won’t give this guy his friendship, fuck him.

There’s another one, close to the family with the little kids, who seems to have allured the little girl away from them and he’s whispering conspiratorially to her, crouched to be at her height. The parents are paying for the ice-creams and they don’t seem to have noticed, so Liam walks closer, curious. Could he be the one?

“Listen, you little monster, I already told you that you need to give your ice-cream to me. _Before_ you lick it.”

The little girl doesn’t seem okay with that. “Why? It’s mine!” She whines with a pout, her hold on the cone firm. Liam licks his own ice-cream interested in the exchange.

“Because I don’t have a home and I’m hungry, as you should be able to tell since you’re _so_ smart. Or maybe you enjoy being selfish? You know where selfish people go, where _you_ will go if you don’t give me your ice-cream? _Hell._ And what do they do in Hell to selfish people? They skin them alive. It means that they peel off your skin while you’re still breathing and you can feel everything. And then they take out your eyes with a spoon to feed them to the frogs. You know what else the frogs will eat? Your-”

This is when the girl gives up her cone.

“You made the right choice.” The guy says and then he walks away, happily licking his new ice-cream.  

The little red-head starts to cry and that’s when the guy who was texting in the bench nearby looks away from his phone, suddenly coming to her rescue. He has big blue eyes and he’s kinda cute. He listens to the little girl’s complaints and he doesn’t hesitate to buy her another ice-cream while reassuring her that she won’t go to Hell. He’s just a genuinely good guy, it seems.

Liam smiles. He found his new friend.

He finishes his own cone with one last bite and he starts walking fast, determinate, surpassing phone guy and the little girl and following the dude with the blue cap who’s still enjoying the ice-cream he just stole from a kid.

_That one, Liam wants that one._

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
